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ODE TO SELF: MENTAL HEALTH

The wind rustles resilient leaves

Eyes tracking glorious shades of green rearranged

Mother Earth exhaling, inhaling

The exquisite details in the clouds, an artists flare and care

Summoning emotion from within anyone alive with awareness

Yet, I am empty

My numbness the just reward of avoidant days

Suppression of oppression

Regretful regression

void of course

I await replenishment that shall not come… until my waiting ceases

For they who are saved are they who act

One breath, one step, one decision

A choice without need for precision

Simply movement

Thaw the stasis, apathy, acceptance of that which is not acceptable

Let go of blurred vision for it is no excuse

To speak harshly to self of being a broken brain recluse

Grace within necessary when love is a tall tale

Tainted and painted with hatred and betrayal

“You are cuckoo” the voice says, maniacally speaking from across the country that separates us

Wait…perhaps it is speaking across the hemispheres of my own brain

Either way, adding punctuation to the barren landscape of the heart starved remnants of this desecrated body

Torn asunder by silent screams and self suffocation

Shall I yearn for a throwing star at my throat

Or should I reach for gratitude and hope?

Amidst my fragile state: confusion, delusion, illusion

A spark glimmers from the trunk of a tree:

“You are like me.

Roots both above and below ground.

Nodes transform with sunlight.

Branches and twigs showcasing growth.

At times dormant but still full of life

Endangered yet aided by the elements.”

Nature calms, teaches, and inspires

A glimmer, a shimmer, a resounding reminder

Bodies, minds, spirits whittled by every whisper carried on the wind

Impetuous declarations we cannot rescind

Souls shaped by creed, deed, greed, desire over need

Medicine designed to neutralize pain

Will not and can not result in collective gain

True medicine is sentient, whether Pharma or Prayer

True medicine is healing, not placebo or delayer

It looks into your heart, not the top of your head

It enlivens your will more than keeps you undead

It takes you on a journey to heal all aspects within

If I want to be well…and I do…I must listen to begin.


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